No Air
by MrsChairNaley
Summary: How I imagined Edward and Bella's heartbreak/confrontation at finally seeing each other at the end of New Moon, inspired by the song "No Air" one-shot


**Title: **No Air  
**Pairing: **Edward and Bella  
**Rating:** T  
**Summary: **How I imagined Edward and Bella's heartbreak/confrontation at finally seeing each other at the end of New Moon, inspired by the song "No Air"  
**Disclaimer:** I don't own Twilight or any of the characters, or "No Air" by Jordin Sparks but I am saving up.  
**A/N:** I was just randomly listening to the song No Air on the radio and it really reminded me of Edward and Bella and how I thought they would be feeling at finally seeing each other again at the end of the New Moon. I sat down and had to write this in one go so please excuse the grammar mistakes. Hope you like it and I would love reviews as I don't really know myself what I think of it. x :)

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This was it, I was going to be with him again in just one minute. Almost five months since I last stood with him that fateful day in the woods, the day when he told me he didn't want me anymore. Just thinking about it made the hole inside my heart crack open further, I hardly ever allowed myself to think about it incase the hole grew so large it encapsulated me and wouldn't let me go. Edward had wanted me out of his life, I didn't know why and I didn't want to know why either incase it was worse than even my darkest dreams had guessed. I presumed he just didn't want me anymore like he said, I mean who am I? Just plain old human Bella not at all a match for the everly perfect Edward Cullen, I knew I was never enough for him, no matter how many times he had told me so it still never sunk in, I still knew inside that he deserved more. And so at last he had had enough of me and went to search for more, but the way he left me that day, so completely and utterly broken inside. I was better now, but not by much, but back then I was a wreck. I didn't know who I was or what I was doing half the time, I just carried on, moving, breathing, living. That was pretty much it, without Edward I had just existed. A broken, tormented existence if anything, a part of me had died and remained dead.

But now I was going to see him again, I had only found out he would be back home with the Cullens earlier today, when I found out my heart literally broke in two. My first emotion was anger, it seems odd to be so angry at the one person you have loved more than any other. But I was furious, at how he could just return so casually and not even acknowledge me after everything we'd been through. Then I felt depression, an overwhelming pit of your stomach, sick depression. I knew we would face each other again at some point and I didn't know whether I could take it, I was already dead inside but to look upon the face of your murderer again might be too much. And even though I resented the feeling, I felt love for him. Perhaps more than the other emotions, I felt the whole in my heart desperately try to come together again, willing, begging myself to love him as I once did.

Walking up to the front door was so surreal it is unexplainable, I didn't know what to do, how to think or even breathe at this point. I would have to see the rest of the Cullens aswell, which was equally as terrifying. I was hoping Alice would be there, oh how I had missed Alice, her spirit and happiness affected me so much when I was around her. I just prayed she still felt the same about me even if her brother hated me.

I walked up to the gleaming black door and reached to tap the brass knocker once, I knew they would hear me, even though I hadn't been round Vampires once I still remembered all their traits including their impeccable hearing. And fortunately enough someone was opening it right away, any longer and I would probably have run straight away, it was taking all my energy to come here in the first place.

"Ah, Hello Bella, come in" It was Carlisle, he seemed happy, in a strange anxious way though. I couldn't work out whether that was a good or bad thing at this point.

"Thanks, I was maybe hoping to see... Edward?" wow, it was strange saying his name again, it felt like a curse or a terrible swear word.

"Yes, yes, it's to be expected. Why don't you take a seat here in the kitchen" he smiled pleasantly but I couldn't return it.

"Um, actually I think I'll stand" I could feel the desperation and anger building inside me.

Carlisle left and I was alone standing in the far corner of the large kitchen, I wanted to have some space between us so I could tell him fully what I thought without being distracted. I knew Edward knew I was here, so I didn't understand why he was taking so long to come, it was like he was nervous as well, even though of course he wasn't. In reality probably 30 seconds had passed but it felt like a lifetime with the amount of thoughts that were running through my mind. And suddenly they all evaporated at once, for Edward was there, at the opposite and of the kitchen, just looking at me.

To see his face again, his literally prefect, flawless, beautiful face again was an overwhelming feeling, but not how you would imagine, it felt although a baseball bat at hid me flat and hard in the ribs. I couldn't breathe, and I knew it was emotional pain but it was so fresh and so real that it didn't feel that way. Looking at him more closely he almost seemed to look the same way but he looked more conflicted, I didn't understand what about but he was unhappy in a way I had _never _seen Edward before.

"Bella, I ..." he began.

"No. You don't get to speak to me that easily. Do you have ANY idea what I've been through? How _you've _made me feel? How could you be so cruel, to just leave me here without you for the last five months?" I was shouting now, I didn't know where any of this was coming from but I needed to let it out, now."How did you expect me to live? I loved you more than life itself and you rejected me so callously, I died that day Edward. You have no idea what you've put me through"

I would have carried on but I was crying so uncontrollably that I was shrieking, I gripped the counter behind me to stop the shaking and prevent me from collapsing. The raw feeling of anger, and resentment, rejection and love crippled me although I had been shot through the heart with a spear.

"No, Bella, it wasn't like that, you have to understand that I was lying to you, it was the complete opposite of that. I lied so I could leave you and protect you, your life should have been better without me, I did this for you!"

"What?! You did this for me? to make my life better? How the hell did you expect me to live alone with just me? My world revolves around you, I can't live, can't breathe without you. There's no air when you're gone Edward, you are my life supply and you killed my air, you killed a part me. Thats how I felt"

"I know, and I am so unexplainably sorry for what I have done to you, words can't describe how much I hate myself for doing that to you. But I felt that too, I was alone and I didn't want to leave you, I was so utterly incomplete without you that I just felt darkness wash over me and it never left. I wish there was a way that I can make you understand" he was almost frantic trying to explain it to me, and I even believed him, just for a second.

"Ha! Sure, you're just going to stand there and pretend that you didn't leave me because I wasn't enough for you, because you didn't want me anymore"

"Of course I want you Bella! Do you really think everything I said before that day was lie? I thought it would take hours to convince you to believe I didn't love you, but you accepted it so quickly I began to believe that you never truly loved me that much in the first place." I f he could cry he would have been, he was sat down now on the chair staring at the grain of the wood of the table, but I knew in his head he was looking back to that day.

"Edward after everything we went through, after everything I just said do you really believe I don't love you more than anyone ever has in the whole of existence?"

"Yes, because no one has or will ever possibly even comprehend the intensity and amount of love I have for you Bella, I have always loved you every single day, and I will love you until the end of time"

I walked over to the table and sat down opposite him, he looked up at me with an expression although he had been fighting an unrelenting battle for the last part of his life. He was so broken and vulnerable that I forgot everything I had though up until this moment. I knew in my heart that he was telling the truth, the voices in my head were an obvious sign that I still believed he loved me, I just couldn't accept it after he left me. I reached out and touched his hand to comfort him as well as me.

He gently pulled my hand up and kissed it, not in a casual way, but in a desperate sign to show any affection he possibly could.

"I know it will take you some time to fully believe me, and it will take me time to believe that I still have you in my life, but if you ever believe anything in your entire life, believe this - I love you Isabella Swan, more than anything else in creation, more than my own life, and I am so sorry for hurting you but I promise on our love that I will never leave or hurt you again and I swear to protect you and love you endlessly"

He looked at me with such sincerity that all I could do was smile and look at deeply into his eyes, I could have said many things about how much I loved him too and how we can move on from this but there had been enough words. Instead we sat there holding hands, staring at each other so completely and utterly relieved to feel the overwhelming love radiating from the other. This was where the rest of our lives began, Edward and I loving each other, uncontrollably, endlessly, blissfully, always and forever.


End file.
